She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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