She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
