I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
