Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize