Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize