dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
