She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
try to milk me bitch
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
