i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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