he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
