i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
