i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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