i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
