Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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