Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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