using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
