so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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