i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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