FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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