she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The Olympian is in my bed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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