I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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