I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
