I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize