There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
