Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
