Swine flu. Run for my life!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
