i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
