I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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