i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The Olympian is in my bed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
