my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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