they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
