i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
