Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
