Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
