I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm way too hungover for life right now
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
