Small penises have feelings too.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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