i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
