help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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