I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize