Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
