my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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