well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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