VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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