I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
