Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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