but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
