Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize