Dual....:-)
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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