Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
