i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
