which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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