I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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