franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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