Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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