but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We are two peas in an std pod
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
