The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
