Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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