Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I had to cum in my sink.
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