...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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