That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
