there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My hand turned me down
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
