i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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