Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
