i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
