Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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