I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
