the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
