so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize